I'm content

My mother has just passed away today.

But I'm content.

Last weekend, when she was still ok, she made me my favourites, ubi rebus ikan masin for breakfast and nasi ayam for lunch.

Before I went back to KL, I had the chance to kiss her hands and she kissed me on my cheek as a reply, saying I love you in her own way.

When she was in the critical zone at the hospital, I still got the chance to ask for her forgiveness and I told her that I love her. She couldn't say anything at that time, but her eyes blinked a little bit when I talked to her. So it might be safe for me to assume that she understood whatever that I said to her.

I'm content.

Because before she passed away, we didn't have any problems, we were not in any form of argument, we were ok and I still got the chance to have my favourite dish that I don't think anyone can actually replicate right now. Something so simple yet so meaningful to me.

The day that she was taken to the hospital, I was at the hospital when I was on the phone with my niece, Zahra. I asked her if she's ok right now. She said, yes, I'm ok right now. And then she asked me, how's Nekwan (my mother)? I told her, don't worry Zahra, everything is going to be ok. Though I'm very sure now that it didn't turn out the way that I expected it to be.

If you love someone, don't leave that person with a tiny bit of anger or hatred, you do not know if that might be the last time that you're actually seeing that person. At least for me, the last meeting with my mother was of love and because of that, I'm content.



Some other posts about my mother, which I wrote much earlier.

http://shrineofserenity.blogspot.com/2009/05/let-whole-world-know.html

http://shrineofserenity.blogspot.com/2010/05/your-shoes-are-too-big-for-me.html

http://shrineofserenity.blogspot.com/2013/04/for-all-pain-you-had-to-go-through.html

I love you, Ibu.

Election candidates for Rasah and Rahang

It is almost the time for the 13th General Election of Malaysia now. We have been waiting for this since ages and truthfully, many of us have made our decisions on who we are voting for since the last general election in 2008. The last general election has made many of us more aware of our power in voting and that we can take in or kick out any politicians who do not deserve to be in power or misuse our trust in them. So just before this upcoming general election, I tried emailing some of the candidates for the constituency that I will be voting later for the Rasah parliament and Rahang DUN. I would say that what I received later was a disappointment.

At first, I tried to look up for information for DAP candidates for Rasah and Rahang, Teo Kok Seong and Mary Josephine but I couldn't so I emailed Loke Siew Fook, ex-MP for Rasah because I know I can easily contact him. I asked him how can I have the email for those two candidates as I wanted to ask them some questions regarding elections. Less than an hour later, I got a reply from him.



Ah, if only all candidates are like him, so approachable and actually took the time to reply my email. Because he actually CC his reply to both candidates, I got emails from the candidates not long after that.

From the Rasah candidate.



And the Rahang candidate.



I assume that the Rasah candidate prefer to be contacted on his phone rather than email so I texted him and asked him a question. This is a standard question that I asked all the candidates, PR and BN, about their plans for Rasah and Rahang if they won the election. And this is the reply that I got from him



Obviously he did not understand my question when I specifically asked him what his plan for Rasah is if PR manages to win the federal government. I was asked to have a look at the website though that is a very general manifesto and there is nothing specific for the people of Rasah constituency. At least he actually replied. When I emailed the Rahang candidate, she did not even reply my email when I asked what would she do for the people of Rahang if PR manages to win Negeri Sembilan. Futile, really.

I wanted to ask the same question to the BN candidates, Teo Eng Kian and Julia Wong Pik Min, what they would do if they manage to retain the state and the federal government but I was not able to find their contacts so I emailed the state MCA to get their details. Again, this was answered in less than an hour and I consider this as very impressive.



But the same can't be said for the candidates because I did not get their emails but I got contact numbers of people who manage their election centres. I tried texting these people to get the emails of the candidates but to no avail.

The Rasah candidate.



The Rahang candidate.



Honestly, I am disappointed. I know that they are busy but I have waited for more than a week for their replies but not getting any. I just want to know that they have a plan on what to be done if they won this election so that we know they really want to win and contribute something for the people of the constituencies rather than just being in power. I really hope that this does not reflect them when they have won later, that they can be approached by the people of the constituencies later. What I want is someone like Dato Saifuddin Abdullah, he actually has a manifesto for the people of Temerloh.



Of course, it is not the prettiest video or well made manifesto, but he actually has one compared to candidates of my area, who have none so far. Because seriously, if you can't spend some of your time to answer questions from the people who are going to vote for you, why should we even vote for you?

For all the pain you had to go through, thank you.

I am at an age where you can start seeing many people getting married and some have already have their own babies. And when you have many friends who constantly update about their babies online as if they are the only ones who have babies, you can see how excited some people are when they can finally have an offspring of their own, especially if it is their first. And seeing how they had to go through that mixed bag of emotions, happiness, excitement, and pain, we can definitely understand that having a baby is not as smooth sailing as some people might thought it would look like. It is times like this that we start to understand the sacrifices that every parents have to do in raising their children, especially the mothers who have to carry you around for 9 months.

Maybe now what we can do is that whenever it is your birthday, instead of waiting for people to wish us, we can also thank our mothers who have sacrificed so much. At least, once a year, thank them for enduring the pain in getting you into this world. For all mothers and mothers to be, thank you.

Being Successful

There was a time when I used to read News Strait Times because there were many excellent writers that I aspire to be just like them, having my own column, writing my experiences and about life. Ahh, that was the time when NST was not as shitty as what they are now.

One of my favourite column writers that I really like at that time was the late Yasmin Ahmad. In one of her articles, she talked about being observant. According to her, if you want to be successful, make sure that you are observant. It was quite difficult for me to understand the concept at that time, but now it seems to clear to me that maybe it is true, you have to be observant to be successful.

If you are a parent, you have to be observant, then you will know if your kids are being bullied at school, unhappy about something or as something simple as knowing what your kids like so that you can get their presents for their birthday. Or if you are the kids, you have to be observant, so that you know the times that your parents are not busy and won't be angry at you if you want to ask for a permission for extra pocket money for that weekend movie outings.

If you are a teacher, you have to be observant so that you will know if your students are very sleepy or look bored while listening to you. By then, you know that you have to take some break or crack some jokes to make sure that the students are actually paying  some attention. If you are the student, you have to be observant so that you know how your teachers mark your mark and what is the best way for you to get the highest mark.

If you are someone who is already married, then you really have to be observant so that your partner won't be angry at you for lying on bed without taking your shower first or not closing the toilet door once your are done.

Being observant requires you to focus and observe or listen to what people are saying or doing. If you are actually being observant to what I have written just now, you might realise that I did not mention anything about money because being successful is more than just being rich and that includes making someone that you care about happy.

100% Right For Each Other

"..your father and I, we're not even 90% right for each other. Not even 60, okay? But he's the love of my life. And right now the love of your life is going to fly away and I bet somewhere in the back of your mind, you're thinking that she'll always be there if you want to try again, but you know what? She wont, because she's the goddamned best! And some lucky guy is going to make it work with her no matter what. - Tom's mom"

Last night, I watched The Five-Year Engagement. Yeah, I know it's kinda late. I have been wanting to watch it since I saw the trailer but somehow it slipped out of my mind and I just remembered about it last night.

So it was about a couple who is not sure if they really want to get married as they think that they don't really suit each other and that they better if they end up with someone else. I'm not here for the review. For movie reviews, you can read my other blog, Dramatic Durian. What I really want to talk about is about finding your life partner.

I am lucky that I am married to someone who I have known for so long, knowing her for almost one decade before I got married to her. We got our differences, there are things that I like but they will bore her to death, and the same thing applies to me that I can't stand watching Vampire Diaries for more than a minute but that is her favourite series. And seriously, that is OK as we don't really need to pretend that we have the same interest. Just like what Tom's mom said, you don't need to be 100% right for each other to know that that person is the love of your life. If you need to do that, then there are two possible consequences.

First, you will never get married. Or maybe it will take a very, very long time for you to get married. You have to make sure that that someone really suits you or you might even resort to dating websites. You know, the ones where we can state the criteria that we want and they will try to match them with what we want. I mean, why would you want another you? Someone who likes every single thing that you like? Might as well you clone yourself. But of course, there should be some traits that are attractive to you but you have to give and take, you can't expect someone to have all the criteria that you have listed in that small book of fantasy of yours. Yes, I know you have that.

The other possible outcome from this is that you will get married but you will try your best to like whatever that your partner likes so that to appease your partner. In a way, you are forcing yourself to like something that you don't like, enduring the boredom though it's eating inside of you. So have your own personality, like something that you really like and if it is the same thing that your partner likes too, then that is a bonus of course.

So whatever it is, try to make sure that you will work it out with your partner no matter how difficult or how different you think you are from your partner. As for me, I must say that I'm married to someone who I have known for so long that I know what ticks her off and how to make her happy. I'm just lucky that I'm married to someone who I can call my bestfriend.

Growing Old With You.

True love, is like a ghost, so many people talk about it, but only a few have experienced it.

For me, my true love is certainly love at the first sight. After so many years of knowing each other, going through many heartbreaks, the hurling of anger, swearing not to call each other anymore, we know that somehow we can never get enough of each other no matter what happens.

It is not easy making that decision to get married. You will often ask yourself, "Is she the one? Do I want to spend my life with her? Do I want to grow old with her?"

But then I asked myself," How can I not get married to someone who is so understanding, someone who is always there despite my hardships and flaws, someone who knows me so well that I really think she is a psychic at times, someone who after all the stupid things I did, will still say I love you?.

Then, I told myself, "This is the one, this is the one who you want to spend your life with, the one who you want to grow old with".

And I definitely concur with that.

The Right Person

Some people asked me, " How do I know if that person likes me? How do I know if that person is right for me?".

Honestly, I can't really answer that question because it is a matter of the heart and it is not the same with everyone as there can be many factors involved. But what I do know is that when it comes to men, men would work their ass off if they like a woman, while women would always stick to their man if they know that the man is the person that they want to be with.

How do you know that a man really likes a woman? He works for it. Men do not usually show their affection through words but what they lack in words they compensate with actions instead. As a man myself, I know that if a man really likes a woman, he would try to win her heart and this includes trying to make her happy, even if it means that you have to lose that game at the arcade so that she can mock you afterwards (and most probably she knows that you lost intentionally, but who cares, as long as she can revel in that moment of glory) or that the man would always be the one who text her first and not making her waiting for replies. Or he would work hard in getting to know her family and making sure that he remembers their name, so that he won't make a stupid mistake later. That is in the process of getting to know each other, of course. But when it comes to getting married, men should still work hard even though he knows that she would want to marry him. There is no such thing as letting your guards down. So I am not so sure what is the fuss about duit hantaran for weddings, as long as it does not come to a point where the man can barely afford it lah. While I do think that the amount asked should be appropriate to that man's ability to provide, the man should  try to fulfill the request, as long as it is not ridiculously high and disproportionate to that man's income. I mean if that man can at least try  to fulfill that request, we know that the man will do what it takes to get married to that woman.

We know the old age phrase that, " Behind every successful man, there is a woman" which really sums it up nicely : Women would always stick to their man, even during their ups and down. I have seen so many women having a husband who I would categorise as a total douche but these women won't just leave them and would still be with their husband, which really left me flabbergasted when there are so many better men out there. I guess this is one of the characteristics of women, they will always be with their man no matter that the place that they live is like hell rather than heaven. I personally know a couple, the man was ( I really hope I'm using the correct tense here) a drug addict. The woman is a very nice woman, always smiling though sometimes when I look at her, I know that she is in much pain. So they got married, which I thought is good because his wife might be able to guide her  and that he might be able to shake off his old habits because he is a family man now. But of course, old habits are like Bruce Willis movies, they don't seem wanting to die easily. So he was involved in a lot of run ins with the cops, brought to correctional centres and was even involved in some thefts. But even with everything that had happened, she persevered and she stayed with the husband of hers and not leaving him all alone. After few years, after two or three kids, he seems better now and I guess he has learned his lesson. At the same time, she is still with him, not leaving him even during his darkest hours. This is the type of woman who really loves her man and you can't ask for a more solid proof than that.

Not everyone has the chance to be in love, especially true love. True love, is like ghosts. So many people talk about it, but only a few have actually encountered it. So if someone does not know to appreciate what one has, that is actually that person's loss. A big loss, I would say.